Over the years, the concept of “positive thinking” has been much talked about and applied widely. Positive thinking is believed to help us overcome adversity. Many people are accustomed to hiding their sorrows and disappointments under a mask of smiles and pretense of happiness. That leads to getting trapped in a superficially bright unreal world that all too soon brings on chronic psychological problems.

What is Toxic Positivity?  

Simply put, toxic positivity is taking an overly optimistic view of the world. You see everything in terms of happiness and expect everything to be beautiful. Happiness is perceived as being the only solution to every problem, to the point of rejecting negative emotions such as regret, disappointment, disillusionment and anger. But such an attitude only leads to a state of “being in denial".

              So the difference between “positive thinking” and “toxic positivity” is that the former focuses on the benefits gained from the experience of facing a problem, whereas the latter is a futile insistence on positive emotions, and a refusal to acknowledge negative feelings and suppression of emotions that occur both to oneself and others around us.

Toxic positivity not only doesn’t empower life but it also increases stress and pressure, especially when we are faced with extreme events such as the loss of a loved one or a big disappointment. Forcing oneself to find happiness in the suffering goes against human nature to the extent that serious mental health problems ensue.

You can cry when you are sad

Negative human emotions are mechanisms developed through evolution to flag up important encounters in life such as situations prompting fear, and manipulate our minds to be vigilant about our surroundings. Similarly, feelings of guilt help us amend bad behaviors while anger encourages us to overcome problems. Moreover, ignoring negative emotions causes us to miss opportunities to learn from those experiences. When faced with sadness, anger and regret, we shouldn’t try to ignore that state of mind because if we accumulate too much of such emotions, we’ll eventually explode. It’s better to observe and recognize our current mood, and give ourselves time to face up to it. Allowing ourselves to express emotions through venting or crying is the human way of releasing emotional pain and stress so our brains and bodies are in balance and unnecessary damage is avoided.

Accept and get over it

No feelings are permanent. All emotions, whether sadness and disappointment or happiness and joy, come and go. To grow as human beings, we need to allow ourselves to face these experiences. When we have bad experiences, we should live in the moment. Going through life’s processes will strengthen our minds and bring balance and perspective. Better still, when we are able to embrace our own positive and negative feelings, we will have more strength to accept both the bright and dark sides of others as well. 

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References:

·      Harvard Medical School
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020

·      Harvard Business Review
https://hbr.org/2020/11/its-okay-to-not-be-okay

·      National Education Association
https://1th.co/go4zY4zY4zY

·      The Psychology Group
https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/

·      Psychology Today
https://1th.co/go4zX4zX4zX

·      Medical News Today
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/toxic-positivity#risks

·      Positive Psychology
https://positivepsychology.com/negative-emotions/
https://positivepsychology.com/positive-negative-emotions/